September 24, 2012

Standing Ovation

This post is a little bit lazy... it's going to be 99% sharing someone else's words and only 1% writing my own. But that 1% will be meaningful.

For all of you astrology geeks out there (maybe you're like me and became one slowly, one Elle daily horoscope at a time), today was the start of a new sign. My sign (Virgo) hung up its hat for the next 11 months. 

Since the 23rd of August there have been extraordinarily high highs and some very low moments (a trip to the ER and an unexpectedly solo flight back to the States). It's been a month of focusing on the change -- the gap between where I am now and where I was a month, 6 months, or 18 months ago. There has been an intense focus on the things in my life that are unpleasant or uncomfortable and a new energy to take tangible action and do something about it. 

Why not applaud the magic of the world's heartbeat and breath and embrace the always changing tectonics beneath our feet and embedded in our souls. It's terrifying. But it's how we grow.

Go on, clap.
think. improve.

September 11, 2012

Scared little fears

Yikes.. It's been a while. Almost seven months, to be precise.

From my perspective it's almost like I'm dusting off the pages of a thick novel that I started more than two years ago and am trying to pick up where I left off. This blog has taken an array of directions, starting off primarily as a travel blog then morphing into daily news analysis, and now it's just trailed off with a...

Any number of excuses will suffice as to why I haven't kept this blog up, but none of them can really do justice to the fact that I love to write, and I've been denying that love for too long. So, here goes.

(Insert nervous blank stare at this part of the screen for at least five minutes)

The truth is, I'm scared to write. 

I'm scared that I don't have anything interesting enough to share.

I'm scared that my style of writing is unoriginal.

I don't want to waste your time. 

I'm scared that no one will relate.

I'm scared that I won't succeed.

These nervous, fleeting thoughts are what have paralyzed this blog and plummeted its readership for the great majority of this year. These thoughts have grown and multiplied like infected cells and before I could even recognize it, my confidence in the one thing that I love to do most was sitting on the floor, broken and whimpering.

I'll bet you have that one thing in your life that makes you both grin and cringe at the same time when you think about it. That dream you had (or rather, have) that seems too impractical, too complicated, too insurmountably challenging to actually implement even though you know somewhere in your soul that it's the right thing to do. 

It could be something simple, like committing to that once weekly yoga class, or finally learning at least two or three chords on that guitar you bought without knowing how to play. Or it might be something bigger: business ideas, travel plans, career changes, lifestyle goals... whatever your little gem might be, it deserves to be noticed.

The spiral of self-doubt and negativity is a tough one to avoid, but I'm starting to realize it's better to acknowledge it, feel it, and move on from it than to deny its existence. Only by taking the time to recognize all of the reasons (note reasons rather than excuses -- they're different!) why I wasn't writing in order to actually start clicking away at this keyboard. 

You should try it, too. Whatever idea or dream it is of yours that you've been denying. Go ahead, grit your teeth, and take a tiny step, you don't have anything to lose.

This blog entry is just one simple little move towards something bigger. I wish I could the Farlang Lady is going on more foreign adventures, but you'll have to wait a few months. Regardless, the blog is back. The dust has been wiped off. And I'd love for you to re-join and come along for whatever strange little life my words may take -- you have my promise that I will certainly always keep things interesting.

Cheers; it's been far too long.
improve. think.